I knew I am alone... I'll always be...It's different now...

I thank you for the suppot u guys trying to give... but at times... I think peisun understands how i felt.. Ur sry might mean somethg to me... but sorry... It doesn't work on me... I've receive too much "sorry".. So fake...

Lonely... part of my life... seems to be like a wolf... wandering alone in the forest

searching for partners but find nothin.

Perhaps... I'm wat i am.. ppl cant accept me...

I understand... Mixing with wrong groups, may be?

I still remember the good old days i have with my friends...

but tat was long ago... I dumb those sweet memories into my "rubbish bin".

It's different now...

Alas!! The old cheerful guy has changed into someone serious(i guess)...

Immune to jokes(most of the time)..

Trying to fake his laughters..

To ignore bad times...

Well, it doesn't change him at all!!!

Friends... they only care among themselves,

The rest... i should say, busybody? (u know who u are..)

Prom night wasn't the best thg ever...

It doesnt excite me nor ignite my spirit..,

In fact, think twice, not going's better than going..

I know.. once im there.. i'll be left out.. again..

Since ppl ady doing tis to me in skool,,

I might juz expect the same in prom..

Since i feel like living skool...

I never thought deep bout my friends..

During old crips,

I'll always look forward into coming to skool,

Now..., everything changes..

Supportive or not... I'm expressing myself..

I know a lot of ppl dislike me..

Before i get a post...

i imagine a great num of friends...

But i dun choose tis myself.,

U guys who indirectly forced me to,

Before i agree on taking tis post,

I knew the consequences.. I knew it..

After all, i can afford to lose friends.. rgt?

Oh.. I already lose one of them..

Wat's the diff. losing all?

Perhaps,.. IF im given a new life...

I hope i wouldnt be like tis...

I hope im not being used..

I hope im appreciated...

I hope life would be like a leaf surface..

I hope someone.. somebody will be true to me...

I dreamt often,

dream of ppl around me...

dream of ppl who r good/kind to me..

dream of ppl who are bad to me...

dream of angriness, violent, happy, cheerful,

solemn, cruelty, evil, silence...

dream of all tis thoughts which are still playing

in my mind today.. till now...

One thg one dun understand bout me...

I grew up in a very diff environment...

Im sure its diff from most of u...

I dun get freedom as often i like...

Im tied to rules... discipline...

Maybe a lil' slack here and there...

but still, i'm diff.. ppl dun accept me as who i am.

Anyway, all tis was juz dreams and hopes,

they would never come true...

even they will,

someone muz have started somethg..

I dun believe much on ppl.. wat they say..

they betray their own words...

And my innocent ear believe... Such a fool!!!

From then on, to even trust someone like u guys,

its hard.. although supports are given..

They're all faking it...

But all tis are juz hopes and dreams...

U guys search for fun while i'm still in my cage..

waiting to be released..

Sobbing while delivering tis pathetic message..

I'd never return to reality if i am given a chance..

Ppl in my fantasy world are better than now~~~

Am i not human?

I am very dissapointed by their act as friends....
Why muz i be treated differently? Am i not juz a norm human like u guys?
Why muz i be treated like an alien?!
I came into tis world to seek friendship and peace,
But all i get's destruction and insanity of heart-stabbing attack
from neighbourhood in class!
Now... i could not tell who's my friend and who's not.
Awhile when rain takes it place in tis serenity, i felt like a tiny ant in tis world...
I'm bound into the abyss of sadness..

I dun understand the way of life...
Is treating others good make me someone different?
To me, i personally think tat ppl treat me differently bcoz im being somone different...
Too kind... too good in "proper speech".. bla3...
I am who i am.. for awhile... i thought tat "Am i born to be alone?" I wander....
ME and my friends... like the heavens and hell,.. a chasm separating us...
No wander... It doesnt seems tat wat i've learned so far are false...
It's true tat im not trustable.... as well as others..

I learned tat ppl are not given any chance in life..
Oni God will... but that's in the spiritual world...
Satan's oni target is devouring humans...
Im not gonna fall into his trap..,
juz tat i will remain quite myself...
May be wat MKY said was true...
I am born to be quite and lonely myself...
Friends now are part of my life(u are rgt.. but)...
Friends in college doesnt make any difference at all(at least i hope not)..
I know i cant join u guys in everythg.. not tat im not good at it...
but i am also a boat.. i'm control by a force.. unlike u ppl..
Im also defensive.. I dont come often and join u guys...
I think tat, makes a difference between my world and ur world.

Why me?

Why must u aim at me? Is it becoz u and ur bball robots dislike me(all thx to ur influences). Its ur double-edged sword-like tongue who coz u end up suffering in miseries... not me... nor anyone... U r ditched not becoz of who we r but bcoz of who u r, NOW.... ~~~ Solution is wat u nid... but sincerity is wat WE needed MOST.. Hope u understand... U still have 4 months from now to change... actually. Think bout it.