FRIENDSHIP REFLECTION

I know tis is a little weird, but... since my last time and sight on u guys was during SPM, I will take tis opportunity to express my thought which I've kept for years... ONE BY ONE... <> Plus, if in the future... when I leave u guys and the world... This could be the last message of me to each and every one of u...

IVAN CHEW -> The first time I saw you, I saw you as a guy of attraction. I'm sure majority have the same thought as I am. Noe? Perhaps you've achieved a requirement of a "perfect" friend. No matter how much you self-praise urself, u still have friends surround you... dunno why. Anyway, you're the only one who can tolerate me among the 3 of you(KY, ZH and u).. Thx for helping me out when I'm scolded by KY and ZH for (u know...) Lol. I appreciate it a lot. Just a lil' comment, you should change ur attitude to be more helpful in times of trouble juz like how ppl treat you when u're in trouble... I remember during the Moral project, last day where u guys nid to hand it to Pn. Noria. Do u remember?? ZH and KY are asking for ur help adn u ignored them greatly. Pls Ivan. Dun do tis to ur friends. I'm sure you'll get more ppl around you if you can stop or lessen ur self praise too. Pei Sun always say "Self-praise is a no praise." K?? =S


KEE YI -> Perhaps you're a good brother in our group. Although you always scold me, but I've always learn sumthg. Thx. I still remember when we're in Form4, you thought me one of your concepts in life I suppose:"stay out of trouble." Still remember you told me, "Derrick, dun care wat ppl do. It's not ur business. Dun give urself into the trouble." Actually I was juz trying to help.. but problem always come about. May be u've forgotten. But you've make me think twice when you wrote the essay abour LOVE. Seriously, I never expect sumthg original like tis from u. Bravo i should say! When I read tat essay, I felt touch and a lil' terasa. Tat's why I kept asking you to put it on ur blog so tat I can read it as often as I can... it's an art. Oh bro, thx for lending me ur Ipod too.. You've fulfill my hope and dream to own an Ipod for sooo long.(eventhough I never own it, but I get to touch and hold it for very long I can say. TQ.) Of course, when there are pros, there are cons. I can say u're a person tat does not appreciate what ppl do for you. You and ZH can be adik-beradik, yat tam2. Haha! Both having the same attitude but ZH better. LOL. I remember in Form4, I help the 3 of you to take you guys' bag down from the 3rd floor(our class) to the 1st floor(IT room). Only Ivan said thank you. U guys never say a word. Juz "orr..". You should change tis attitude. And you'll be a perfect friend if you dun easily hooked with the wrong friend(u know who la...). Lastly, dun hold grudges on anyone for a long period. It's bad for ur health, ya? Hehe. =D


ZHAN HONG -> Uhmm... you are? Wait... have been sitting beside me for about 2 or 3 years i guess.. I can't say alot bout ya.. Since you dun have your own concept. Juz blurr... and a follower(say nicely) I should say. A betrayer when comes to fighting for marks (I'm sure u can recall wat u did to me, dun u??) Plus, you also should be parient to anyone you come in contact with. Remember!! Be patient to those who had been patient with you over the years! A lot of saying and scoldings, but there's learning throughout the process. "When ppl ask you to do, you juz do la..." See? Isn't this a concept of a follower??? Still, u instill obedience in me indirectly. U thought me wat my mom thought me sumtimes.. "Do without complain."(though u did not sumtimes... hypocrite eh?) Last advice to u, I realized and hope u could change to urself is BE LOYAL. Thx for tolerating wif me in ur Hot-tempered attitude. Thx buddy.


MAX HOH -> Hah!! My spiritual brother! Although there was a major problem happened between both of us in skool due to tat... uhmm... embarrassing.. =C, still God answered my prayer tat our relationship was fix juz when u came back from ur F1 camp. If there's an award- giving-day held by me, I would definitely award you with the "Philosopher" medal. I call you PhF(Friends of Philosophy) . Yes, it's true. You've encouraged me in my life quite a lot. When I'm in too high in too high and think everythg can be done my way, you gave me a blow, saying, "Derrick, when you can do sumthg, dun think others can... they're not u.. Everyone have their own abilities, k?? " I also learnt and am encouraged when I'm down with friendship problem- Prom thg. You told me, "Friends are there for you to cherish and treasure. If you dun, you'll get ntg." Thx for everythg bro. Ppl always say I hated you for wat you did to me in the past, but the fact is I salute you more than other thg and anyone else in our skool, honestly. I dunno wat to say anymore.. could be tears rolling down my cheek. Juz wanna give a piece of advice: You should control ur arms... not to simply swing it around or on any gals' shoulder. Not all gals like it.(eg: Joey) Today, I can proudly say tat you are the one God sent to assist me in my life... THX BRO!!! =D

* I WILL WRITE MORE. I WONT FORGET EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU... I'LL WRITE AS LONG AS I'M CAPABLE.. AS LONG AS GOD ALLOWS....

Hmm... Accepting new perspectives~

Fiuh... Thx for those who has comforted me durinbg my times of trouble.. Rite now, I'm learning to accept diff(way too diff) thoughts and be patient wif my uhmm.. frens.. But.. I know how u guys treated me.. still the worse... however, i'll still be patient(i hope so) as long as i can... Hope some of u dun take this oppurtunity to step my head.. I know i can be good... but U dun wan to see me being emo, rite?? LOL. =.="

Tears of Blue Sky

Alone in the darkness, I found out the meaning of my tears,

I stepped out toward the place I wished for, but I don't want to hurt anyone,

Today, the wind that crosses the ocean will blow straight toward tomorrow again,

But why can't my heart start moving?

I wonder that fate awaits me,

I don't want to regret having been born,

There is courage within sadness,

I believe that I can find the light,

Tears of blue sky, still falling,

Someday it will change into a smile.

The wind that I chase after at a fast pace slips through between my fingers,

I'm still afraid to trust, but I will no longer linger,

The moon softly taps my shoulder; the water's surface shows the path of the moon,

It makes me forget that I was confused,

Even if there is nothing waiting for me tomorrow,

I still have hands that can make something,

I can even change the fated path,

Now I build up my strong feelings,

Tears of blue sky, overflowing,

The sky will be clear tomorrow.

I should be able to step toward the path

I've looked up to,

I can go anywhere, as long as I don't lose myself,

The tranquility is what I seek,

for this day reflects the better life I'm shooting to.

I knew I am alone... I'll always be...It's different now...

I thank you for the suppot u guys trying to give... but at times... I think peisun understands how i felt.. Ur sry might mean somethg to me... but sorry... It doesn't work on me... I've receive too much "sorry".. So fake...

Lonely... part of my life... seems to be like a wolf... wandering alone in the forest

searching for partners but find nothin.

Perhaps... I'm wat i am.. ppl cant accept me...

I understand... Mixing with wrong groups, may be?

I still remember the good old days i have with my friends...

but tat was long ago... I dumb those sweet memories into my "rubbish bin".

It's different now...

Alas!! The old cheerful guy has changed into someone serious(i guess)...

Immune to jokes(most of the time)..

Trying to fake his laughters..

To ignore bad times...

Well, it doesn't change him at all!!!

Friends... they only care among themselves,

The rest... i should say, busybody? (u know who u are..)

Prom night wasn't the best thg ever...

It doesnt excite me nor ignite my spirit..,

In fact, think twice, not going's better than going..

I know.. once im there.. i'll be left out.. again..

Since ppl ady doing tis to me in skool,,

I might juz expect the same in prom..

Since i feel like living skool...

I never thought deep bout my friends..

During old crips,

I'll always look forward into coming to skool,

Now..., everything changes..

Supportive or not... I'm expressing myself..

I know a lot of ppl dislike me..

Before i get a post...

i imagine a great num of friends...

But i dun choose tis myself.,

U guys who indirectly forced me to,

Before i agree on taking tis post,

I knew the consequences.. I knew it..

After all, i can afford to lose friends.. rgt?

Oh.. I already lose one of them..

Wat's the diff. losing all?

Perhaps,.. IF im given a new life...

I hope i wouldnt be like tis...

I hope im not being used..

I hope im appreciated...

I hope life would be like a leaf surface..

I hope someone.. somebody will be true to me...

I dreamt often,

dream of ppl around me...

dream of ppl who r good/kind to me..

dream of ppl who are bad to me...

dream of angriness, violent, happy, cheerful,

solemn, cruelty, evil, silence...

dream of all tis thoughts which are still playing

in my mind today.. till now...

One thg one dun understand bout me...

I grew up in a very diff environment...

Im sure its diff from most of u...

I dun get freedom as often i like...

Im tied to rules... discipline...

Maybe a lil' slack here and there...

but still, i'm diff.. ppl dun accept me as who i am.

Anyway, all tis was juz dreams and hopes,

they would never come true...

even they will,

someone muz have started somethg..

I dun believe much on ppl.. wat they say..

they betray their own words...

And my innocent ear believe... Such a fool!!!

From then on, to even trust someone like u guys,

its hard.. although supports are given..

They're all faking it...

But all tis are juz hopes and dreams...

U guys search for fun while i'm still in my cage..

waiting to be released..

Sobbing while delivering tis pathetic message..

I'd never return to reality if i am given a chance..

Ppl in my fantasy world are better than now~~~

Am i not human?

I am very dissapointed by their act as friends....
Why muz i be treated differently? Am i not juz a norm human like u guys?
Why muz i be treated like an alien?!
I came into tis world to seek friendship and peace,
But all i get's destruction and insanity of heart-stabbing attack
from neighbourhood in class!
Now... i could not tell who's my friend and who's not.
Awhile when rain takes it place in tis serenity, i felt like a tiny ant in tis world...
I'm bound into the abyss of sadness..

I dun understand the way of life...
Is treating others good make me someone different?
To me, i personally think tat ppl treat me differently bcoz im being somone different...
Too kind... too good in "proper speech".. bla3...
I am who i am.. for awhile... i thought tat "Am i born to be alone?" I wander....
ME and my friends... like the heavens and hell,.. a chasm separating us...
No wander... It doesnt seems tat wat i've learned so far are false...
It's true tat im not trustable.... as well as others..

I learned tat ppl are not given any chance in life..
Oni God will... but that's in the spiritual world...
Satan's oni target is devouring humans...
Im not gonna fall into his trap..,
juz tat i will remain quite myself...
May be wat MKY said was true...
I am born to be quite and lonely myself...
Friends now are part of my life(u are rgt.. but)...
Friends in college doesnt make any difference at all(at least i hope not)..
I know i cant join u guys in everythg.. not tat im not good at it...
but i am also a boat.. i'm control by a force.. unlike u ppl..
Im also defensive.. I dont come often and join u guys...
I think tat, makes a difference between my world and ur world.

Why me?

Why must u aim at me? Is it becoz u and ur bball robots dislike me(all thx to ur influences). Its ur double-edged sword-like tongue who coz u end up suffering in miseries... not me... nor anyone... U r ditched not becoz of who we r but bcoz of who u r, NOW.... ~~~ Solution is wat u nid... but sincerity is wat WE needed MOST.. Hope u understand... U still have 4 months from now to change... actually. Think bout it.

Spoiled.... "Speeding" in class..

Haih... u guys shouldnt have "speed" in class so much... nanti terLanggar in SPM baru tau...


haih... ah ling!! Y u appear in my group.?. such a spoiler///... XD


Still, ur xpression dint convince me.... u should do wat u say yesterday.... Kip ur words pls~ If u dun wanna lose... any friend of urs... unless u're using us.... me... then... u think urself... i know my primary and secondary cant blend together... but still... i'm learning how to let thgs pass.... we'll talk more... maybe today... not every1 will act like me.. (u know wat i'm saying IF u read tis.)


Hmm... i see he's spoiling u as well... watch out!!! Hisses everywhere......


Hey sam, i'll try to help him... but not too close... ok? hope u accept tis idea of mine.... Well, i guess he dun wanna be too close either. Noe?