Happy CNY.... Comes and go.

CNY was nvr excited to me.. Let's see.. I got like RMXX oni. The rest is for parents(parents know y). I dunno, for most ppl, chinese especially, tis occasion is splendid. Me? Boring.. no offence. So, well, be4 these, at least, they're ppl of love still around you but today, 12pm they juz disappeared, vanished!! Of course, cant blame them, im the one tat's not close@good with anybody. Even if i was, who cares??? Did anybody remember wat i've help u through in ur prob, how i solve a silly-terrible friendship tat's totally not my prob!! God knows. Maybe i've disappointed u, scared u for not joining in tat CNY fun activity. NVM, im used to it. Sry.. i get it. Im a wind rite? Come n go. I've a family tat dun und a teenage's feelings n lifestyle. HAha. Well, at least teacher's the oni one who can und me. Exasperated by parents during hols, events, occasions, almost EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

Cant i have a normal family? Sumtimes, i'd look below at the 4th floor, any place high enough, n asked "will die ah if jump dwn?" My classmates, the saw me most of the time looking below wif hollow, lifeless eyes. I thought tat by suicide, i wouldnt suffer much. Base on my background n some probs, u probably, by now should've said "I think tis guy is facing a serious depression." If not, u'll think i'm an AS but LOA i supposed. Who would've see wat my real life was? I'm always trying to cheer myself after all thgs tat've inflicted on me. A person like me; lonely, lifeless, solitude, cool, sumtimes expressionless, scary, moody, emo at times, crazy2, yada yada. At times, i thought of running away from hme. But it's a stupid thg wasnt it? Where can i live??? Wat's weird is tat even my frens said i should've done it. They nvr think tat i've no place to live. Freedom is yet to unfold in my life. I dun share sumthg common in ppl simply bcoz im growing up in a TOTALLY DIFF environment from wat ppl of my age suppose to. Concern? Dun be. Who would concern such traumatic ppl like me, huh??!!

Until u understand me, i might be gone from tis world. I've always wanted a "family". Tat's y i treated u guys like my brothers and sisters, even at times u get me wrong, lash at me, hated me and etc. Frankly speaking, im reli jealous of those birds flying above our heads everyday. I eman they're juz... uhmm.. free. Haiz... Pls pray tat i'll get out from my cage n find a flock of family tat i can fly together one day. Seriously, i dun mid ppl calling me Dick or wateva, as long as it doesnt "lock" me. - FATAL.